I decided to start a blog with some urging from my friends on the Indie Island of Misfits (IIOM). It all started with a recent obsession with makeup, but more importantly, a love for myself. In 2010, I met someone who really destroyed my self-esteem, but I had an intense emotional attachment to this person and allowed myself to stay in a friendship for much longer than I should have. A seed was planted in my head, and from it sprouted the idea that there is too much ugly in me to fix, no matter how pure my heart or how unique my persona is. I have never worn makeup or put a ton of effort into what I was wearing, until around six months ago, when I discovered makeup and realized that I really and truly am worth it.
Luckily, I am in a much better place in my life now. I have established healthy boundaries with my family and those individuals whose presence does not serve me well. I live in the Bay Area in California where it is always within my five degrees of temperature comfort and pop punk concert opportunities abound. I am a mama to a bratty, sassy, stout guinea pig named Princess Anastasia Kona Sticky Toffee Pudding Squibbles, and yes, I did make the appointment at the vet with her full name. Suck it. My boyfriend of three years is the most kind, caring, selfless human being I have ever met and I am so grateful to have him in my life. We live together and he tries to watch Dance Moms with me. It works.
I am obsessed with Disney. It represents imagination, creativity, fantasy, hope, intelligence, strength, and so many more things that I cannot begin to put into words. It's that feeling you get when you walk down Main Street, smelling popcorn and giving the Cast Member with a Mickey glove on a big high five first thing in the morning when the park opens. We had to color mandalas in class during the Carl Jung lecture and when everyone explained theirs, they were like "the red represents my mom, the blue represents me, and the green represents my dad", and I was like "ummm, I made mine Rapunzel colors, so like yellow for her hair and lavender for her dress... k".
I am also a strength athlete as well as an aspiring bikini athlete. I participated in my first powerlifting meet in January of 2015, but unfortunately acquired and exacerbated multiple injuries in my hip and pelvic region along the way due to a deformity in my structure from when I was born, and had to pause my strength training. I began to train for aesthetics and fell in love with the sport of bodybuilding - the perfect combination of performance and being on stage, beauty, and strength, both in mind and body.
I have performed and competed in piano my whole life. My favorite composer is Frederic Chopin, in particular his second piano concerto and Etude Op. 23 No. 7. I listen to mostly pop punk, but also dabble in other genres. I have one tattoo on each forearm, and together, they make up a lyric from Go Radio's song "I Won't Lie". And no, I don't want to talk about their breakup.
I am a graduate student working towards my M.A. in Counseling Psychology (Marriage and Family Therapy) and aspire to work with clients with eating disorders, as well as couples and individuals, focusing on empowerment and self-esteem. I also have an affinity for warm baked goods, loose tea, good literature, and writing in the spare time that I have.
On my blog, I will be doing makeup swatches and reviews, book reviews, food reviews, and probably some updates about my training, and maybe some random musings. Welcome to my life.
